My Feeling toward My Cellgroup

Recently I blog about Toshiba a lot.
Now have to blog something else.

Well, recently I keen on listen to Rev. Stephen Tong's sermon.
Such an amazing servant of God.
I think, so far he is the greatest pastor that I met before.
Who can compete with him?
Perhaps, he is the most powerful pastor among all the chinese pastor.
I gain a lot of knowledge from his sermon and begin to realize my weakness in Christianity.
Today I would like to make a commitment,
listen to one sermon each day!

Another thing is about my cellgroup.
The journey of cellgroup in my life is very complicated.
From Wan Yeng cg to Monica cg to Lee Lee cg, now combine with Shao Heng cg pula.
But I still under Lee Lee.
Hmm..I'm not that close with her.
And I felt she also not really want to get close to me.
I don't know why.
Until now, I still miss the time when I was in Monica cg.
I can join in current cg, talk to the members but I failed to talk to Lee Lee.
We are just a very normal "hi-bye" friend.

Do you really know what I meant over here?
She is my leader, I suppose very close to her.
But we are just a "hi-hye" friend.
This is a very serious problem.
Because of that, I don't feel like going to cg.
I felt that our relationship is very fake.
I go there simply to "appear" myself in cg,
SO THAT,
She can take my ATTENDANCE.
What is the problem man?

Do you know how we communicate?
She sms me said tonight got cg, then I reply that I'll be there.
The only time she sms me is on Wednesday evening,
because cg is at 8pm.
Now she even not sms me already.
I'm totally fine with that.
Because I'm not a new member, I will go to cg automatically.

When I go to Japan interview, I told Monica.
She still give me response.
I strongly believe, if I tell Wan Yeng about my interview in Japan,
she will also give me responce.
But when I sms Lee Lee,
Sorry lo, no reply lo.
Everything not about cg or service attendance,
very sorry, will never get a reply.

When I back from Italy,
She said I can actly go to another cg.
But I said I want to stay in her cg.
Simple reason, I want to support her.
Hmmm...

What else can I say?
Yesterday got cg, guess what?
I didn't go.
I choose to stay at my hostel worship God and listen to Rev. Stephen Tong's sermon.
I knew christianity is not about one person, but about relationship.
But I think I'll grow more in this way then pretend go to cg.


Lord, I'm hunger for Your Word.
Fill me and Lead me.